Now that more and more teenagers are transitioning to natural hair, I thought I’d create a page dedicated to the subject and offer some encouragement and advice.
Going natural was not something anyone was doing when I was in high school, but I can tell you now that I would not have had the confidence to do it.
So I applaud those of you who are considering or going through the journey.
Even though I have no experience with what it’s like to go through high school with transitioning or natural hair, I can tell you what I’ve learned about people that will help you stayed encouraged.
It Takes Strength and Confidence to Look Different
For the most part, teenagers just want to fit in. No one wants to be the person who stands out or gets made fun of because they are different.
Can you relate?
That’s why so many teenagers are terrified of going natural. It goes against how most young girls wear their hair — especially today when so many girls are wearing long, straight weaves.
I commend you for putting your desire to go natural and having a healthier hair regimen over trying to look like everyone else.
And let me tell you, when your natural hair is long, healthy and able to do so many funky hairstyles, I guarantee many of those people who tease you will wish their hair is as healthy as yours.
My hair journey has inspired so many people who told me they never even considered going natural. I bet this will happen to you!
So I encourage you to stay strong. Yes, some people don’t like natural hair, but it’s only because we’ve been programmed to believe that straighter hair is more beautiful. Don’t make someone else’s opinion your problem.
And if someone has something to say about your “nappy hair”, you can just casually remind them how freeing it will be to know that your hair doesn’t have to be processed for you to feel beautiful.
Don’t stoop to their level with insults, just confidently reply with a smile, remind them it’s their opinion and keep it moving! 🙂
Transition Hairstyling Ideas
So what do you do while transitioning? After all, that’s the most challenging part of the natural hair journey because you are dealing with two different textures.
Plus, you’re probably busy with school and other activities so you don’t have enormous amounts of time to spend on your hair, and you want it to look nice. So here are some styling options.
1) Extensions/Weaves
Many teens transition by wearing braids or weave because it’s low maintenance. I don’t have an issue with this, as long as you give your hair a break for a few weeks between getting more hair sewn/braided in.
Also make sure you get them done loosely and they don’t pull your edges. This can cause breakage. And if you are already losing hair because of traction alopecia (hair loss around the edges, crown, etc. from pulling) then I would strongly recommend some of the styles below.
2) Flat Twists
Flat twists are great because you can learn to do them yourself (I learned on YouTube) and it’s a good way to blend the two textures at the edges where your hair grows out first.
I wore flat twists a LOT during my transition. It took me about a month or so to learn how to do them properly, but once I learned this was my go-to style often. My favorite style was flat twisting my sides and doing a rod set on the rest of my hair.
Just like extensions, make sure you don’t put them in too tight or they can break your hair.
Here’s one of the tutorials that helped me learn how to flat twist…
And here’s one of my favorite flat twist transitioning styles…
3) Rod Sets
You have to be careful with rod sets because you don’t want to look like somebody’s grandma. 😉 The key is to use small rods and roll your hair in a spiral pattern so your curls are spirally. Plus, the smaller you do them, the longer they will last.
Also make sure you separate the curls completely when you take down the rods, to give your hair a fuller. You can young-up a rod set by adding a stylish, large headband.
I loved rod sets while transitioning because they lasted a little more than a week with little maintenance. I always used the white and blue plastic rods (from the beauty supply) because they are smaller and made my curls last longer.
See my article on rod setting transitioning hair.
4) Bantu Knot Outs
This is another popular transitioning style. It’s ideal because you are twisting your hair to the root, which is good for blending textures.
I never did bantu knots when I was transitioning, but you can see a video of my first bantu knot out style while fully natural. You can still use the same technique.
What’s great about this style is you don’t need to add perm rods because you will automatically curl your ends when creating the knots.
Mom Says “No Way!”
I come across a lot of teens who need advice because their mom is completely against natural hair.
At one time natural hair was in (60’s, 70’s, etc.) Then in the 80’s and 90’s it became all about the relaxer — the straighter the better. So if your mom grew up in a time when natural hair was not in, she may have a very negative attitude about it.
Times are changing. YouTube has revolutionized the way we think about and style our hair. Also, products have come a long way so detangling and overall management have gotten so much easier.
I was doing my hair in front of my mom once and she said, See, we didn’t have access to all the knowledge and products you guys have now. She said she didn’t remember my texture looking the way it looks now, but my texture hasn’t changed.
The products (conditioners, cremes, etc.) are making my hair more manageable than when my mom used to do my hair. She didn’t have access to them when I was younger so the only thing I remember about being natural was tangles and heartache! (I used to hate wash days!)
So if your mom is against natural hair, take her to YouTube and school her on the way natural hair management and styling has evolved. Find a woman whose hair is thriving and has a similar texture to yours.
YouTube has encouraged many people to go natural simply because prior to its popularity, lots of people were unaware of what is possible with our natural hair. The videos are inspiring because they show how versatile our hair truly is.
Another reason some are so against natural hair is because they’ve seen poor examples. Obviously if you don’t take care of your hair, being natural can be a disaster. However, with some TLC and patience, your hair can really thrive and the styling options are endless!
Below are some pics toward the end of my 18-month natural hair transition. My hair was mostly natural by this time. I started falling in love with how many styles I could do since my hair was so thick.
And if your mom is still against it, you might just have to sit her down and tell her how you feel. Explain to her that the relaxers are ruining your hair (if that’s the case) and you’d really like to learn how to embrace what your hair does naturally.
Tell her it would mean the world to her if you could have her support. Remind her that she doesn’t have to like your hair, but the support during the transition would make a big difference.
Remember, some people just don’t like natural hair and you can’t change their minds — but that’s not your problem. It only becomes your problem if you let people’s opinions bother you. Stay strong and do what’s best for YOU.
Discuss Your Transition With Other Teens
Sometimes it’s hard to find people who support your transition so you may feel you are in this alone. There’s a thread in the forums created by a teen looking for support as she transitions. Feel free to join in. Also check out this discussion where a mom hates natural hair.
Decided to transition? Here are some tips to help you get started.
Hi I recently started trying to grow out my hair and I have been trying flat twist but I don’t know which crème would be best…….what do you suggest? plz help.
Hi I recently started trying to grow out my hair and I have been trying flat twist but I don’t know which crème would be best…….what do you suggest
I am thinking about transitioning and I don’t know where to start in terms of how to care for my hair, I am 13! 🙂
Hey I’m 15 and I’m going natural ! I have not had a perm since October 10 2012 ! I hate this process and I really want to turn back ! Advice please ?
Hi Paige
Don’t turn back. Have you tried any of the styles on that link at the top of my page? What seems to be the problem? Is your hair dry?
My hair is REALLY dry ! I’ve did the Bantu knots for two weeks , first I did it with dry hair and it came out fine but then I tried it with semi air dryed hair it also came out fine . Should I condition my hair every day and do the Bantu knots ? Thanks for your help
Hello! I’m turning 15 next month and i decided to transition April 18th. I already see new growth and it’s growing really fast. Honestly, i can care less what other people think. Basically, i think your blog is awesome. 🙂
I was thinking about goin natural because I love the curls! Although I just got a relaxer I still ended up puttin straws in my hair & Makin it look as if I’m natural ! The thing about it is my mom says everyone’s hair doesn’t get curly when they go natural @ that you have to cut your hair ! My hair is already short from Breakin & gettin it cut so I’m often wearing braids with weave ! If my hair is not going to get curly I’ll feel as if I’m waiting my time !!!!
Hi. My almost 16 year old daughter has been transitioning for about 9 months and she wears her hair pulled back into a bun every day. I am very supportive of this and would like to help her out but I have naturally straight hair so I have no knowledge of what to do. We live in a predominantly white area and until recently she never liked anything except long straight hair. Please tell me if wearing the bun is harmful for her hair. I am considering purchasing the Carol’s Daughter transitioning kit for her and would like your advise.
Hi Trudy
Buns are OK but they shouldn’t be worn everyday if the hair is pulled too tight. As long as it’s not too tight and she lets her hair rest every few days or so then they are OK. And if she must do it everyday then loosen it up so it’s not pulling on her hair.
ive been transitioning for awhile now (since june 7,2012)i wash my hair every wednesday & flat iron it, am i putting too much heat too it? when i unwrap it & step outside the humidity takes over, what can i do too help that?
Hi Keja
Since you are almost a year in, I think it may be easier to wear curlier styles. I couldn’t imagine wrapping my hair almost 11 months into the transition. There’s no way the weather would let me rock any style. LOL Have you tried a rod or straw set instead?
i have no clue how todo those things & i dont really like tight curls
Hello! I am a freshman in high school and started to think about going natural about two years ago in seventh grade. I actually had begun a transition and I even got braids for a while, but with homecoming coming up and mom not wanting to deal with my hair she took the easy way out and just permed it. I wanted to cry a little bit because I was doing so well with my transition, but now that I look back on it I’m glad that I’m giving it another shot because I feel more emotionally ready to become one with my texture again. This website is amazing and along with many others it has given me the support that I don’t really receive from my friends even the ones with natural hair! Thank you so much. I will continue to visit the website often. 🙂
Glad you came by! Check out my forum https://napturallycurly.com/forums and you can chat and ask questions. We’d love to see ya there!
Glad you came by! Check out my forum https://napturallycurly.com/forums and you can chat and ask questions. We’d love to see ya there!
Oops… typo https://www.napturallycurly.com/forums
Im 15 in high school, I desided to go natural because my hair began to have chroinc breakage. The 1st time I got my hair relaxed was 8 because my mom didnt know how to handle it. Over time she ran out of money so she couldnt do it anymore. So it grew I just were it in a puff ball there out elementray school. By 10 years old, When I lived with my grandma she permed it. I was glad it was shoulder length and full. By 7th I was always in it alwyas using heat. 8th grade my friends noticed breakage. 8th grade summer i got braids but my scalp was mad flaky so there goes that idea. So i contiuned to get relaxers till I noticed more breakage. 9th grade i was missing so many inchs, over time I lost more inchs. So my last relaxer was in March. I have been natural sence. Instead of doing the big chop I just were my hair pinned up. Yhea I get laughed at but in the long run I feel it be worth it. So I learned as my hair growths cut away the damaged. If want braids or a hair product i half to buy it myself. I have down so much research and this site has helped me. I think I was just looking for girls my age going threw the same thing. Some things I learned no heat, minrial oil and petruolm cause flakes, and defintly wear a scarf for your hair when you sleep. So Thank You for creating this website its helped me a lot.
What do you recommend for a person like me who is a full time medical student that really wants to go natural?
Hi
Wear a lot of protective styles like extensions if you don’t mind them. Then give your hair a break in between (rest 1-2 weeks) before your next installation. During the break, wear straw sets, rod sets or something lasting so you don’t have to fiddle with your hair often.
I started my natural hair journey 2 months ago and my hair has been falling out BADLY..now im thinking about getting a weave and im wondering what kind of weave I should get
Hi Hailey
If your hair is falling out badly, a weave is only going to make the problem worse — especially if your hair is falling out at the roots. So first of all, are you deep conditioning your hair regularly? Are you wearing styles that don’t require heat and manipulation like straw sets, etc? I don’t have any experience with weave so I can’t be of any help there, but just know that getting a weave can make the issue worse if your hair is weak because weave pulls the hair.
My mom said that if I’m going natural, I still have to go to the salon (which I hate) to get my hair deep conditioned and hot oil treated, but the people there just pull on my hair and last time, i was yelled at because of me “not combing out my hair”, but I had extensions in so I couldn’t do that. Also, I go to boarding school, and I don’t want to just come back looking different. Plus, I have permed hair at the ends of my natural hair, and I don’t want to have really short natural hair. Basically, I need advice on what I should do at this point in time.
I’m in my last year of high school and I’ve decided that I want to go natural. My hair has been breaking off since I stopped getting relaxers, I don’t go to salons often, and I don’t know how to take care of my natural hair. It has been really dry, hard to comb, and it’s gotten extremely short in the back. Some of the girls at school make fun of my hair now. Should I just wait until after college to transition, should I just go back to relaxers? I don’t know what to do.
hi ive been trying to go natural and i have been seeing the income but my hair is really dry and is hard to comb and the 2 different textures is driving me crazy and my friends are starting to point it out
Hi, i’m monet and i am 14 going to 15 , so yeaa i am in 8th grade . My last relaxer was 6 months ago and since then i’ve been having trouble transitioning . My mom is against me wanting to be a long term transitioner but she isn’t against me doing protective styles and she buys most of the products i want . She wants me to do a relaxer though because my hair is really hard to comb and is breaking alot . I have alot of thick hair and everytime i try to sperate and detangle my hair with my fingers or comb, i can hear my hair snapping . I put this deep conditioner in my hair like once a month and leave it on for 10 minutes but without heat . I bought the Cantu shea butter leave in but my hair still is hard to comb . . . can you please give me advice on what method to do or what to put in my hair so it’ll be easier and smoother to comb ? the last thing i want to do is get a relaxer and my mom is real serious.Thanks, and i’m sorry for this long comment ;o lol .
Hi Monet
Have you tried my detangling tips here? https://napturallycurly.com/transitioning-from-relaxed-to-natural-hair/how-to-detangle-transitioning-and-natural-hair/
hi i’ve decided to go natural but i’m wondering how much should i shampoo a week and condition?
Hi
You’ll have to see what works for you, but I shampoo once per week and that has usually been enough. Even when transitioning.
Hey Its Ayana Again & I Was Wondering That Its Been Almost 5 Months Since I Have Gotten My Last Relaxed And I Don’t See Too Mugh New Growth, I Really Think I Stretched My Relaxed Or Something BecAuse In The Front Of My Hair Its Kinda Still Straight But Towards The Middle And Back I Can See The Natural Hair Coming In . I’m Also Doing A Long Term Trasition I’m Worried That My Hair Isn’t Growing.
Hi Ayana
Your hair is growing, your textures are probably very different in parts of your head. When I transitioned, it seemed as if my top and sides weren’t growing at all but they were growing at a slower rate and the texture was straighter. Now that I’m 1.5 years post mini chop and full natural my hair is more uniform but still some spots are straighter than others. Hang in there.
hello lisa,
I am a jr. in high school. the school i go to is very judgemental…at times. i wore my first trannsitoning hairstyle about 3 days ago, twist out. to me it turned out good i think. when i wore it to school i did have comments some good and bad and bye the end of the day i felt more beautiful that i did before cause i know that i am doing this for me and no one can influence my choiceis like when i was younger and ii cant beging to describe the high boost of confedience i got afterwards. my question is WHAT ARE THE NEEDED PRODUCTS FOR TRANSITIONGING HAIR? & WHAT HAIRSTYLE ARE GOOD ON TRIMED PERM ENDS AND NATURAL HAIR?
thank you
Hi Najha
Good for you! I can tell you what I used but you have to find what your hair likes. See this page https://napturallycurly.com/2010/07/my-favorite-transitioning-products/
Also many of my transitioning styles are here. https://napturallycurly.com/2012/12/natural-and-transitioning-hairstyles/
One of my best friends is currently transitioning for 10 months now and I finally found that relaxed hair is a black woman’s cue for inferiority and I don’t want to do this anymore I always hated getting relaxers but I’ve also always hated to comb my hair when it was natural mostly because it was so hard to comb through and I always hated wash days as you’d said. I now know that this was because of a lack of the right product for my natural hair. My hair texture is a 4c and it scares me that maybe if I transition it will be really hard with these two completely different textures. I’m in high school now grade 10 and I know I have my friend’s support but my mom and sisters gave me the hardest time the last time I stretched relaxers for 4 months and it was pretty hard for me as well but I’m thinking maybe if i get the products it would’ve been easier. My family used to poke around about it and my mom always teased that I “look like I have no mother” and one of my sisters said I looked like “nobody’s child” and all that it really hurt till I just caved and relaxed my hair. I don’t want that to happen again so i plan to put it in cornrows and twists this time. I haven’t got a touch up since December 1st and I’ve got a considerable amount of growth and I love it I just wish i’d have the support of my family. Do you have any advice for me?
Hi Jannovia
Hang in there. Make sure you are properly moisturizing your hair. That can make a big difference in how your hair feels. I have an article here. https://napturallycurly.com/moisturizing-dry-transitioning-hair/ I know it’s rough but as you transition, you will learn more about what your hair likes and how to soften it up so it’s more manageable.
You can put your hair in corn rows but also experiment with rod sets, etc. so you can learn how to manage your hair when it’s free. Study YouTube videos and get ideas from people who have a similar texture. You can do it! Just wait till you have a full head of natural twists. I bet your sisters will want to transition too!
Hellooo 🙂
I am a senior in high school and this is my second time transitioning. I ended my first transition because it seemed that my new growth wasn’t growing.
My last perm was August 2012, so I guess I’m five months into my transition. I want to enter college as a TRUE natural this fall, so I was contemplating on doing the BC after graduation, which would be my nine month mark.
Questions are, 1) should I BC anyway or just continue to long-term transition? 2) if I do BC, is it better to transition during the summer?
Also, I have a very dry scalp, what hair cair products do you recommend?
* 1) should I BC after nine months?
HI Xiniqua
That’s a decision you have to make. Are you ready? Are you ok with perhaps having your hair be shorter than it’s been in awhile? Always remember that when you big chop you may have to trim more than you thought. So it’s up to you! If you’re confident enough to rock your curly fro, I say go for it. 🙂
I never really thought about the seasons. I actually transitioned long enough to experience all seasons and the only thing I noticed was in the winter my hair dried out faster because of the cold weather. So whether you’re transitioning or natural you still have to maintain moisture.
For dry scalp, I massage jojoba oil and tea tree oil (couple of drops) into my scalp before shampooing. Also a hot oil treatment prior to shampooing can help.
Ok so I’ve been on and off with box braids and my natural hair braided. So this is the first time that I’ll be going to school with my natural hair braided. I’m very unconfident on this. Any ideas to help? Thanks!
Hi Jade
There are many things you can do with your braids. Pin them up in the back and add a cute flower on the side. Curl the ends with rods to give them a curly look and then take them down in the morning for a curly, textured look. Play with it and have fun!
Hi , my name is Aaliyah im a 16 year old girl from the Bahamas. I recently decided to begin transitioning in NOvember. My mom is all the way against it. I didnt recieve a relaxer until 6th grade . I remeber my hair stoping at the middle of my back . After perm all ive seen was breakage.
Hi Aaliyah
That’s a common issue with a lot of teens. One thing I suggest is to sit down with your mom and show her some natural hair styles on YouTube. And if your hair is kinky, show her videos of ladies who have hair texture like yours. Sometimes our moms don’t realize what is possible with natural hair because perhaps they grew up in a time where natural hair wasn’t celebrated like it is now. Hang in there, OK?
Hi Lisa,
Firstly, I love your site! 😀 It has so many things that make me more confident on my long term transitioning journey. However, I am facing an uphill battle, I’m 15 and I decided to go natural during August, I never realised just how hard it would be. I have no support from my family and I feel even more bitter because my sister has thick and lovely relaxed hair, they all seem to belive that my hair will never grow and that I am wasting my time.
Frankly, I am starting to believe them a little because my hair is acting very unruly and I don’t know how to manage it. I have what is refered to as SCAB hair and my scalp is so sensitive that I can hardly get a comb through it. Styling is a GIGANTIC problem, I can only sport a very tacky high bun and I am sure I am made fun of because of it. I hve no Idea as to how to make my relaxed and new growth blend.
So please, please help me!!!!!!!!!!
I need advice. Thank you.
Hi Ninette
First of all you only want to comb transitioning hair when it’s wet with lots of conditioner. Wear styles like straw or rod sets that require no combing and can mask your two textures. Check youtube for some rod set and straw set vids. 🙂
Hey,
My Name Is Ayana & I’ve Decide To Go Natural This Year I’m A Freshman In High School And Had My Last Relaxer One Week Before Thanks Giving So I Think That Was Nov. 16 & My Hair Is Bleached Orange Reddish & Yellowish Its Really Pretty Tho. You May Have Heard The Stories When Girls Was Like Owen Pulled My Hair Out. Well Perms Never Pulled Any Of My Hair Out I Got My 1st Relaxer When I Was 9-10 Year Old & Now I Want My Natural Hair Back . My Natural Hair Type Is 2c/3a That Means It’s Very Curly Lol. my Hair Is Long Past My Bra Straps So I Say About 20′ Long And I’ve Been Missing My Natural Hair It Was So Soft && I’m Not Going To Do The “BC” Because I Don’t Have The Head For It. & My Hair Is Damaged Not To Bad But Bad Enough Do To All The Heat I Put On My Hair Ive Been Low On The Heat Lately & I’ve Been Doing Bantu Knots They’re Really Pretty Cause They Make My Hair Look Natural As Possible & I Just Need Some Advice I’m Not Going To Trim My Ends Because I Don’t Stay By A Salon So . . I Just Need Help Lol.
Hey Ayana
So it sounds like you’ve found a style that works for you so that’s great! So were you needing help on more styling options? I wasn’t quite sure what you needed. Also make sure you check out the forums for help https://napturallycurly.com/forums
Hello My Name is Ayan and I haven’t Had a relaxer since the week before thanksgiving of this year and since then I have been doing bantu knots I am a freshman in high school and I need some advice on learning how to trim my own hair
Okay, so I’m in highschool and my mom told me she’s going to stop sending me the the hair salon to get my hair straightened because my hair is damaged, and I am MORTIFIED.
(need I mind you, it is partically her fault it’s damaged because she would never send me back to the salon she would always wait a month till my hair got nappy to send me back and by then, my hair would be very brittle and fall out)
I’ve been made fun of A LOT all through middle school because of my natural hair and don’t feel like going through it again. I don’t like braids. (that’s what I had all through middle school) I also don’t like anything similar to braids, like twists etc.
Is there anything to do? My mom is a braids person and when she was growing up, everybody had braids. She doesn’t know how it is nowadays. I would get talked about relentlessly AND, I’d be even more self concious and shy than I already am.
What I’m asking is, isn’t there a way to have natural hair but still make it look like it’s not? You know, I would comb it out and then put gel on my hair and throw it into a bun? Have you tried it? Are there any other ways? Please help. I’m going back to school on January 2nd and I’m not even in the mood.
Hi Ki,
I understand your frustration. It was bad when I was in high school in the 90’s so I can imagine the teasing/kids are probably worse today.
As far as putting gel on it and slicking back, you can but depending on your texture, it may or may not hold. Have you ever tried doing a straw set or a set with very tiny rods. It will give your hair a very tiny spiral curl that will last forever (usually two weeks). Go on Youtube and look up straw set. I think that would be cute! And you can put on a headband to style it even more.
Is it possible to braid transitioning hair? About three months into my original transition, the natural un-permed hair was obvious, it formed sort of a ‘headband’ around my head. My mom made me relax it because she said it was too ‘rough’ to braid, and that it would hurt me if I got box braids. I disagree because the braider didn’t even give it a go. I figure a longer term transition would be easier- because my mom is doing EVERYTHING she can to make sure I never go natural. 🙁
Yes, you just need to put perm rods on the ends.
Does that soften the new growth to where I can have it braided? That’s my main transitioning style.
My daughter and I have relaxed hair. I have decided to go natural and am encouraging her to do the same. She’s 11 and we are military so we are often sent to places that lack the stylists and supplies needed to maintain any kind of ethnic hair. I think she is resistant to the idea because she doesn’t want to look different from her peers. What do you think about weave for a girl her age? It is the only compromise I can think of at the time.
Hi Valerie,
That’s up to you but just be careful with weaves because sometimes they are sewn in too tight and that can put stress on the edges and make them very thin. Same goes for extensions. But a lot of people transition with extensions because it’s easier to manage. Just make sure you give your hair a break.
I think age 11 is way too young for a weave. I got one when I was twelve that was not done right and looked horrible. Because we had no personal stylist, what I got was what I stuck with for three months. I got amazing growth, but for a kid that age I would suggest box braids and nothing more.
My daughter is 13 and she decided she wanted to transition back in May which was her last relaxer. We have been doing braids and cornrows but that is starting to get expensive. In addition, i want her to learn how to manage her hair on her own by rocking it natural. We did not do the big chop however we did try a few styles in between the break from braids that really did not last long enough. She is 6-7 months in and 50% of her hair is natural. Do you any product suggestions I can use on her? I am thinking about getting the Carol’s Daughter Transition kit.
Hi Kiya
It’s really hard to suggest products for people because you never know until you try it on their head. That’s why I have disclaimers all over the place. lol It’s not that I don’t want to help but it really is about individual head experimentation. What my hair likes may be a fail for your daughter’s hair, etc. Just try to find products that are moisturizing like Shea Moisture. I’ve heard the transitioning kit is really good for strengthening the hair.
Okay so alot of you girls got good advice on an unsupportive mother, but what about a mother that forbids me from going natural.. This is my second attempt and im 2 weekd and 6 days post relaxer.. I tried to hide my transition but my older brother told on me. Im 16 & a junior in high school.. My last relaxer (which i got after a 4 month transition) only texturized my hair &’ the shampoo im using is actually causing the rest of my hair to revert back curly after 14 years of relaxers… Any advice ?
Hi Rosalyn,
That must be so frustrating. Have you tried to have a serious sit-down talk with your mom and explain to her why this is so important? What does she say? Also, watch some YouTube vids with her of some ladies with thriving natural hair. Maybe that will help.
Im so glad i found this website. This month makes five months since i decided to go natural and im trying to transition. Im 16 and just started college so i really want my hair to at least look presentable at school. Ive had braids in but unfortunately my hair is thinning out at the sides. im in need of ideas because my hair really isnt the type that would keep up with these styles. plus my ends are slightly damaged. any ideas?
Hi Olivia
First of all, rest your hair from the braids for awhile. My friend has been getting braids for 10+ years on and off and her edges will not grow back. Make sure you rest your hair from the braids before you get new ones. Go on YouTube and check out some transitioning styles. I also have some on this site under the hairstyles tab.
Make sure you get your ends clipped first and foremost because that will make your styles look worse. Do you have any hairstylists in your area that deal with transitioning/natural hair to give you some guidance on your individual situation?
I’m glad you put your journey out there because my daughter is natural she 17 but she is so scared to wear her hair in it’s natural state because she might think she would teased at school. I hope one day she stop worrying about other people and realize she is beautiful.
So glad I found this website. I’m a freshman in high school and I’m currently transitioning. My last relaxer was in April 2012 and since then I’ve been getting sew-ins in between. I took out my sew-in of three months yesterday and I could see the different textures. Lol I tried to transition last year from November 2011-April 2012 but my mom made get a relaxer in February so I stopped. My hair is about chin length, and I’m wondering what products are good? Thanks Lisa 🙂
Hi Faith, check my article on products I used. https://napturallycurly.com/2010/07/my-favorite-transitioning-products/ Just know it’s hard for someone to tell you what products are good for your hair. You have to test them out and see.
i have been looking at youtube and google searches for about a year or so about alternative to getting relaxers such as blowouts natural hair and i really want to go natural. a few people in my family have went natural i.e (grandmother, her sister, and older cousin). my hair is a little past my shoulders now. but my stepmom cut it into a bob becuase it was thinning, almost last october and i got mixed reactions from some people in my family and school. so i dont know what they will do when i start transitioning. i keep saying im going natural but they dont understand why because they think my hair is long enough. and my dad says i cant go natural until im 18 and im 16 now but i dont want to wait that long. How do i convince him and my stepmom to let me?? My stepmom also said she wasnt doing natural hair so i will probably have to take care of it myself. im frustrated! im tired of people telling me what to do with my hair X(
Hi Tiffany
Go on YouTube and do a search for naturals. I think looking at the many beautiful hairstyles you can do with natural hair will help convince your stepmom and dad. Specifically look at a girl with the username 160days2lose2. Her name is Charyjay and she has beautiful, thick natural hair and styles it herself.
I can tell you that I was HORRIBLE at styling my hair but I learned a lot on YouTube. So if I can learn, anyone can. 🙂
Hi Lisa,
I’m a sophomore in college and I’ve decided to go all natural!!!!!! (My last perm was in August) When I was in the 10th grade in high school I’ve started to go all natural,but after 4 months I backed down. After watching your videos and learning from this website, I’m 100 percent sure that I want to go all natural. My only concern is ways that I will be able to style my hair with out doing the “bc”, I’m currently am rocking a bob cut with a bang. Also is the Carol’s Daughter 1-2-3 transitioning curly set any good? If not what other products are useful in the transition and after the transition?
Thank you lots,
Chris
Hi Chris
I have a page that shows what I used during transitioning. Just understand that your hair may respond differently so it’s hard to tell you what to use. https://napturallycurly.com/2010/07/my-favorite-transitioning-products/
The Transitioning Kit wasn’t available when I transitioned so I never used it but I’ve heard great things about it.
Hey Lisa,
I am a freshman collegiate volleyball player and I haven’t had a relaxer since March 2012. I have to wear my hair up in a ponytail or bun everyday because I sweat a lot. I was on relaxers for about 7 years and my mom did them with various ones from Walmart. WIthout doing a big chop, I am starting to notice about 3 inches of new growth. My problem is that I don’t have much time for deep conditioning for 1-2 hours at a time and when I sweat, you can really tell the difference between textures. I used to straighten my hair all the time, but now, I am definitely not doing it as much. I know that I need to trim my ends more often, but my school is not close to home, so its hard finding a place to do that for me on a regular basis. Do you have any tips for me especially being an athlete trying to transition?
Thanks so much,
Iris
HI Iris
If I was in your position, I would get extensions as long as they are loosely done and you give your hair a break for a few weeks at a time. Sweating and transitioning can be tough and that’s a very low maintenance way of doing it. I know plenty of people who have transitioned successfully with braids/extensions. The key is letting your hair rest in between and continuing to moisturize while your hair is in braids.
Hey,
I’m a freshman in college & I have been transitioning since April of my Senior year of high school so I’m 7 post relaxer, I wasn’t too confident when I first started transitioning I would wear sew in but eventually I stopped & just wore my hair, but because I’m still transitioning it seems like it’s taking forever even though I’m seeing progress but I don’t really know what type of styles to put my hair in. The only think I can seem to do with it are two strand twist & bantu knots… do you have any other ideas that I could possibly use while transitioning?
Have you tried rod sets? That was my go-to style when transitioning.
Hey =)
so about a year or so ago i invested in a hair straightener and decided NO MORE RELAXER, only problem is i ended up straightening my hair every week… So recently i’ve decided to go completely natural with minimal heat and i’ve got to say im really struggling. I have thick, long hair (about halfway down my back) and styling my hair is proving to be impossible. I tried twist outs and braid outs and it just doesn’t end well, i end up with a huge afro that’s just about impossible to style or even hold in pony tail… Another problem i’m facing is i can’t find any of the recommended products (I live in South Africa) is there anything else you can recommend?
When you do your twist outs are you using some kind of holding gel/cream and making sure your hair is sopping wet when you twist? Then rod the ends. What is your routine for twist outs?
I have just decided to start the transitioning from my relaxed hair and I fell refreshed I am in grade 10(live in south africa) its going great for me my main protective styling is the Kenyan Matutas. I do deep conditioning every once a week or twice a month depending on what’s the protective styling…..my mother is totally h me going natural since she is going natural too…..what tips do you suggest I should take?:)
Hi Lisa,
So I’ve been inspired by you and a couple of other youtubers to go natural. However my mother does not support me at ALL. I am a sophomore in high school, and she said that if I was to go natural, she wouldn’t buy me any hair products or anything I need. What do I do ??
Hmm. why won’t your mother support you?? Going natural is a very good thing! Hmm, if you have any other friends who are also going natural or are already natural, ask them for tips and product advice. If you get an allowance, use it to buy some of the products you’ll need. Or try to find a side job. I know that’s ot easy, but if you can find a was to make extra money, you’ll be able to buy the hair products you need (hair is an investment, trust me!) That’s what I do: I’m a senior in high school and I have a paid tutoring job in my school. But most importantly, you should have a serious talk with your mother because from what you said, it sounds like she has some very strong feelings against natural hair. And don’t forget that the internet is a very valuable resource for transitioners! I’m still fairly new to this (like four months in) but I’ve learned so much from many forums and black hair websites (I’m still experimenting and trying to find the perfect regime for my hair!). Good luck and I hope this helps!
Hey! I am a senior in high school and I started on my transition on May 19th. I’ve been counting the months!! Also, a great way to go natural w/out much damage to your hair is to crochet your hair. I have been doing crochets for 3 months now & I love it. I can’t wait to cut my relaxed hair.
Cool, thanks for sharing that Tyanna!
Im In High School & I Decided To Go Natural At The End Of My Freshman Year & Was Fully Natural By The Beginning Of My Sophomore Year . Im Currently A Senior & Im Loving My Natural Hair 100% . Of Course When I Started , There Were A Few Comments Questioning What I Was Thinking . But I Didn’t Care Too Much Because This Was Something I Wanted For Myself . I Love It So Much That I Finally Decided To Wear My Fro For The First Time Yesterday At School . This Time All Of The Comments Were Good Ones . (“Yes , Liyah . Im Loving Ya Fro.” , ” Omg I Love Your Hair.” & “Your Hair Is Cute”) So Im Proud Of The Decision That I Made . *Embrace YOURself*
Way to go Aaliyah!!!
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for going through your journey. I am currently 9 months in the transitioning game (lol) and I solely appreciate your viewpoint about transitioning hair. But I need to ask you something see… I’m in my last year of high school and I really want my hair to be fresh, health and moisturized…. I have been hearing a lot about “Wash n’ Go’s” lately… So do you have any “Wash n’ Go” styles or ideas for transitioners…… I am also currently contemplating cutting my relaxed ends of in mid-September.
And another thing… Ever since I have started my journey many have been supportive… but surprisingly my best friends have not… It’s like ever since I told them they seem…..more judgmental… one of them even stopped talking to me… my question is: Should I convince them that I am the same person no matter what my hair may look like or should I drop them as friends. I would really like your input and others as well.
Thanks in Advance,
Sarah B.
You’re always the same person, no mater what your hair looks like 🙂 True friends should be able to see that. Maybe they’re just jealous that you are bold enough to go natural and they’re not! Maybe you should wait until they come to their senses (if they really adore you as a friend, they will)
As for hairstyling, try two strand twists with holding cream- you can keep them in for days (depending on how heavy the holding cream is) and when you let them out, you’ll have beautiful curls!
Hope this helps a bit 🙂
Great advice Nisha!
See Nisha’s comment. I agree with her.
You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to do or like anything. Real friends don’t judge by what people look like. The other thing is that teenagers can be immature and make a big deal over things that adults think are not important. I remember high school and the things I used to be concerned about seem funny today in my 30’s. But I understand how it matters when you are in school because no one wants to be ditched/made fun of at that age.
When I was in junior high, my so-called friend stopped eating lunch with me because she didn’t like how I dressed. It hurt so bad. Looking back on that, I wish I had not cared so much what she thought. Now I understand she was immature and not a real friend anyway but back then I just wanted to be accepted/liked. Nevertheless, I found new friends to hang and eat lunch with and realized the value of true friends.
Wash and Go’s would be tricky with transitioning hair because you have straight ends. I never did Wash-n-go’s when I was transitioning.
im beginning eighth grade and im transitioning so yes im only 13 years old. i used to have a lot of natural hair when i was young but i didnt like my “puff” that was on the top of my head. i couldnt try new things and kids didnt tease me they could just keep touching it, but now i realize how stupid that was cause it wasnt the end of the world, now im willing to go back to my natural self <3
Hi Kelly,
That’s OK, you can get your puff back! 🙂
Lisa I been Natural For five months but I do get my Hair Flat ironed that’s Bad?
It is if you do it regularly and don’t use a heat protectant. Flat ironing can ruin your curl pattern so if you want to wear natural styles your ends may be straight. Try to minimize heat as much as possible and always use a heat protectant.
Hey Lisa,
i am currently two months into my transition to natural hair and i have thick coarse dry 4c hair. I am very excited to be natural but there are a lot of naysayers including my mom. For about 2 years now I’ve been getting texturizers and my hair has retained more length because of the looser texture being prone to less breakage. Recently my mom told me i cant go natural because of texture. I can understand where she’s coming from because when i was younger before my perm and texturizer my hair broke like crazy so it seemed like it didnt grow. I now know that the way my hair was handled and what products that were put into my hair contributed to this but now I’m feeling discouraged and I’mm considering going back to texturizers. Sorry for the long comment ;)but what should I do ?
Hi Aminata
I understand why your mom may say that but you never know unless you try right? Why not try to do some of the styles and tips I suggest here for awhile to see how your hair handles it. You’ll never know unless you give a go. Sounds like you really want to try this so I say go for it!
@TRENEYA Can I say im going through the exact same thing. Im about to be a junior this year so most people no me with permed hair, once a rocked some box braids sophmore year but i gotta say I was really self-conscious about it my friends kinda laughed the first few days, note they’re black and half-black. My hair is pretty long permed a few inches past my shoulders, but it’s so incredibly thin and i feel like it sheds way too much. I wanted to transition because I think my natural would obviously have more volume and I don’t wanna keep up with the perm anymore. Im also contemplating waiting till I leave high school starting that summer instead. I cant do the big chop because Im pretty sure i can’t handle short hair, especially when I’ve been used to the length I’ve had for so long, but I definitely want to know the real me.
Hey! I’m a junior in high school and weeks ago I decided to go natural again. My first attempt at the transition didn’t last because I felt no support from my mother but now I’m confident at trying again because I’ve found your website and my mom is supportive now. I’m super excited to see how my natural hair is after all these years. Relaxers aggravate me and I hate em. Anyways thanks for having your website, it’s truly helpful 🙂
Hi! I’ll be a senior this fall, and I’m my last relaxer was in June, I think. I’m excited about going natural but the one thing I’m concerned about is how to style my hair. I’m a dancer, so I have to have my hair up for three hours, five days a week during the school year. I really don’t like braids or cornrows of any kind (especially because I don’t know how to do them myself!). My staple hairstyle is an updo with a banana type clip- with my ends tucked under. I like this style, but it’s boring to do the same thind over and over again. Have any suggestions? 🙂
Hi Nisha
It’s too bad you don’t like braids or twists because with your active lifestyle that will be ideal. I can tell you now that by month 3 that banana clip style will get harder because of your new growth. What about bantu knot outs or rod sets? You can wear a big headband and rock a puff when it gets older.
i am in high school and SO scared to do the transition!!! i am tired of relaxing my hair and want my natural hair back even though i have NO idea what it looks like now :3 i dont know if i should wait until im done school to do it. i want to but then again i want to do it now. i’m scared of the outcome and what its going to look like during school 🙁
Hi Treneya
I understand. Going natural does test your confidence because it is a journey of unexpected results when it comes to styling and learning about your hair. Why not give it a try and if you don’t like the process you can always go back to relaxers when your ready. Transitioning requires patience (especially if you want to do what I did and grow your hair all the way out without chopping it.) Take your time with the decision. 🙂
Hello I am in the process of transitioning to my natural state. My hair is damaged it’s broken off in the back on one side as well as my ends are really split. I gained some length from when I had a sew in which I kept for 2 months but now it all needs to be cut. When I wash my hair you can definetly tell which part is natural and which parts are still relaxed my ends are fragile and split! I plan on trimming my hair very often to eventually cut the perm out of my hair. Only problem is as I keep trimming the shorter my hair will get and the less I will know how to manage it. I planned to get micro braids after I cut my hair do you feel that, that would be a safe route?
Hi Demetria
As long as they aren’t put in too tight and you let your hair rest after you take them out.
Hi, I have not put a perm in my hair since thanksgiving of 2012. I am a freshman in college so I’m really busy. I have been going to buy hair products to help with the transition, but nothing seems to help. now im using Dove conditioner, and olive oil shampoo. I usually wear sew-ins for a couple months, and then let my hair breath for a month. This time I took my sew in down and my hair seemed shorter once flat ironed. I was thinking about just trimming my edges and get some single braids until my hair is officially grown out. I guess my concern is that my hair is not growing at all.