The fear of being rejected by men is a common reason many women won’t go natural — especially women who are single.
When I was transitioning, a friend of mine said she will go natural after she gets a husband.
I say “Wow”, but I’m not really surprised by that statement. Many women worry that men won’t be attracted to them with their natural hair. Period.
Unfortunately, the media has European-ized some men’s (and women’s) brains. In other words, many people unconsciously believe straighter hair is prettier than kinky hair. However, just like many women embrace natural hair, so do many men — especially when a woman rocks it with confidence.
If you think about it, it’s very sad. We are unconsciously raised to be ashamed of our natural hair. How crazy is it that some men won’t find us as attractive because we wear our hair in its natural state and do not conform to the European standard of beauty.
Yes, it’s sad, but that’s their problem, not ours.
I never really realized how deep all this was until I started transitioning myself. For years, I preferred wearing my hair straight, but never really thought about why I would never go natural.
Yes, wash days were easier when I was relaxing, I didn’t have to worry about humidity as much, but I also didn’t think there was anything pretty about my natural hair. So as I transitioned, I had to re-program my own mind.
Think about it. If we can’t even embrace our own hair, how can we expect other people to do the same?
Update Sept. 2011: Toward the end of my transition when my hair was mostly natural, I started getting more compliments from men than I ever did with relaxed hair. Random men approached me on the street, in Starbucks, at Subway, and even the airport.
Now, I don’t believe that is because more men like natural hair. I actually think most men prefer straight hair.
But my point is, those who love it, will go out of their way to tell you. It also taught me that you can’t spend your life worrying about who is NOT going to appreciate something about you because there will always be those who will.
So, if you’re one of those women worried about what men are going to think, check the video below.
You may argue that he is in the minority, and that may be true. Nevertheless, he’s a great example of a man who loves a woman with natural hair. (Thanks for sharing, TheNaturalHaven.)
Check out this discussion on the Napturally Curly forums where a lady discusses her fear of going natural due to the rejection by men.